FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
“No Apologies” character-building, abstinence programme
Among the many issues teens face, making wise choices about sexuality is one of the most critical. The culture we live in is teeming with sexual images, inappropriate messages and dangerous advice about sexuality. More than ever before, adolescents need their parents to help steer them through the sea of mixed messages that surrounds them.
No Apologies: The Truth About Life, Love and Sex is a character-based programme that specifically promotes abstinence and helps adolescents identify the problems and consequences associated with premarital sexual activity. Its primary goal is to communicate that sex saved for marriage is the safest and healthiest choice.
At Elim Christian College we aim to encourage students to make godly choices and to think about their own and others future when making decisions about relationships. At the end of our 8 weeks exploring this topic together in class, the students were asked to write a letter to their future son/daughter addressing the topic of sex. They were asked to express their opinions on boundaries and sexual purity through the letter.
Here are some of the awesome letters from the lovely year 10’s. It is such a privilege working with these amazing young people.
Dearest Crystal,
You are now reading possibly one of the most precious letters you will ever receive,
because in it I want to sincerely ask that you make a decision before God, to abstain from having sex with your boyfriend, whether you are currently in a relationship or have decided to save yourself for the man you will actually consider marrying.
You are a truly beautiful girl, not just in God’s eyes but also in ours and I am almost certain that guys would or are already falling head over heels for you, possibly even pressurizing you to go further in a relationship than you really want too. So I am writing this letter to encourage you to take a stand on how far you should really go in a relationship. I am trusting your judgement based on our guidelines and God’s principles, to do the right thing, as even starting to have prolonged kissing really creates a much more difficult atmosphere in which to say no to anything else in the physical realm, because by then your hormones start to sky rocket, and every time you take it that step further you are giving away a little bit of yourself, a little bit of your purity until you have no purity left to give to your future husband.
I love you baby, and I trust with all my heart that you will abstain and refrain from going too far with any guy, even treating them as the bible clearly states, as your brother. Now you wouldn’t go very far with him, would ya! J
I love you, and though this letter is one of careful instruction, it is also one of faithful encouragement. I love you forever my precious girl.
Xoxo to the moon and back x infinity, mum.
Dear Levi
You are reading this at this particular time, I have written this to you at the age of 14 on the 22nd June 2009. I hope you save your virginity for that beautiful wife God has in mind for you, as I have done with your mother. This is the best gift you could ever give to your wife. I really hope you make the right choices; God has given you this wonderful gift like a present, keep your flame strong throughout your life. I want you to make the right decision even if your friends aren’t doing this I want you to stay sexually pure; you are my son and I want you to benefit from this, I want you to someday show your wife that you have saved your love just for her, stay committed make her your best friend, have deep enduring love for her, care for her treat her like a Queen. I am not going to be there 24/7 so you are going to make your own decisions. Whatever you do I won’t and can’t stop loving you
Yours sincerely
Dad
To my precious daughter,
I am so proud of who you are becoming and what you have accomplished. You are an amazing woman of God who has such amazing gifts and abilities that you share with those around you. You truly bless us all and we are so lucky to have you in our lives, especially me and Dad. You are absolutely beautiful, always. Inside and out you are stunning. I’m certain that, if you’re not already, soon you’ll be turning a few boys’ heads. Shortly you’ll be going on your first date and experiencing falling in love for the first time. But remember ’do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires’. Guard your heart so that feelings of love will come at the right time. Never waste time on a man who isn’t worth you, or who treats you any less then you deserve. Pray that God will guide you to the man he has for you in his plans. Pray that he will be someone who brings out the best in you and together may you live out God’s plan for you lives. I want you to be able to find real love in your life. A love that is so strong it cannot be defeated by death. Find this love with someone before you give yourself to them and bind this love together in marriage. In some ways, imagine you and your future husband like a book, without binding the pages together, the pages would fall apart as there would be nothing securing it together. Until then, treasure your virginity. Decide not to be like a door; open to any cute guy who knocks. Rather be like a wall, with armoured guards protecting your castle. Save yourself for your husband. Sex is God’s gift to married couples. It lets people who are bonded spiritually and emotionally become physically bonded. God intended your virginity to be the gift only you can give to your husband. You are awesome and flawless in my eyes, no matter how many mistakes you make. I love you.
Forever and always,
mum
Dear Daughter,
I know that in life, there are various ups and downs especially in the area of relationships. As females, what we desire most is not jewels, clothes or money but love. We tend to look for love in our relationships e.g. family, friends, boyfriends, etc. However, in search of love, we do tend to do stupid things; things such as sex. It is unusual topic, one which many tend to shy away from. However, it is important.
Many will say that sex is ‘terrible’. Yes, it is – if it’s before marriage. It has the ability to destroy or build a life/future. It has the power to cause years of pain or happiness. It is ultimately your decision but I hope that you will make the decision to wait.
Waiting is always the key. I hope that in your relationships, you’ll always be willing to wait. Make sure that you use your head and not you heart, as the heart is often deceived. Set boundaries for yourself. Don’t allow another person to manipulate you or use you as you are a special person in God’s eyes and mine.
I pray that you will make the right decision and that you will always strive to please God and not man.
From,
Mum